PASSION AND LIFE DIRECTION

Is it too Late to Follow my Dream?

I’m 47, have written several books, and illustrated a children’s book. All sitting in my drawer. My problem is that I also have a chronically ill 16 yr old daughter and a best friend whose son is dying from a brain tumor.  Before this, I took care of an abusive, alcoholic Dad and a chronically depressed Mom who needed round the clock care after a stroke. I didn’t know how unhappy I was until I read your book and remembered my long ago dreams of being a published success. But the pain of life keeps getting in the way. I‘m exhausted with sorrow and have lost my passion for living. I can’t live like this anymore. I want to feel alive and happy again. Is it too late to follow a dream? Too selfish? And if not how do I do it? Where do I begin?

    It’s never too late to follow your dream, or too selfish. If you wait for everyone around you to be healthy and happy, you will never get to what you want to do. While it is kind of you to support and care for people you love, if you are exhausted you have overdone it. Your admission that you can’t live like this anymore is honorable and powerful. Such a point is time to stop what you are doing that is depleting you and claim the life that would bring you joy.

    Your most significant gift to life is not so much what you are doing, but the energy you emanate while you are doing it. If you are burnt out, resentful, and passionless, you are contradicting your contribution. Notice when you start to feel overwhelmed, and stop at that point. Step back and do whatever it takes to renew your spirit. When you feel whole and alive again, act. Until then, make it your primary focus to get connected with your passion.

    Definitely act on your writing. That is a key and a lifeline for you. You will discover that as you reclaim your joy, you have much more to give others. You cannot give healing from depletion, but you can and will bring great upliftment and relief when you proceed from a sense of wholeness with creative expression.

 I Want Peace more than Trying to Prove Myself

I am a college student and I am totally consumed by my academic successes and the grades I receive.  I've had some disappointments in my life, so I think I am trying to make up for them by going overboard with my grades.  All I do is study!!  The crazy thing is that professors, friends, and family think that I am so smart and have such a brilliant career ahead of me, yet I just can't seem to believe them.  I don't think I am smart and I am always worried about what will come of my life.  I feel so lost.  It is like I'm looking for something that doesn't exist.  I feel like I don't even have control of my life anymore.  I want my mind to be at peace, yet I feel so stupid and unworthy.  I want to find that acceptance and peace I had when I was a kid.    Please help.

    What you describe is very common. Many people believe they have to prove themselves, and lose touch with themselves in the process. You are very fortunate that you are becoming aware of this at a young age so you can and move your life in the direction you would choose by choice, not default.

    Your professors, friends, and family see you as brilliant with a golden future. Why argue with them?  Why assume that you are correct about your inadequacies, and they are incorrect about your magnificence? Wouldn’t you rather they be right?  They are.

    Consider that your gifts are valuable not because you have worked so hard to prove yourself, but because you are innately wise and strong. You can be successful without being a phony. You can do valuable things not because you have to prove yourself, but because you have a lot to give. Not because of the hoops you have jumped through to look cool, but because of who you are.

   It is good news that you remember the acceptance and peace you had as a kid. That means it still exists, you are in touch with it, and you can find your way to it. Spend as much time as you can remembering how that felt, why you want it, and what you do now in your life, even in rare moments that you access it. The more you access it, the less rare those moments will be.

    You will never do enough to please everyone, or to appease the tyrannical voice in your mind that tries to whip you into success. You will never succeed as the slave of that voice, because the only true success is joy, and you can’t get to joy through fear.

    Begin to try every decision on for size and ask yourself, “I am doing this out of joy and creativity, or am I doing this out of fear or pressure?”   Begin to heed the voice of aliveness more and the voice of inner oppression less. Your only job in life is to be true to yourself. The more you are, the more you will remember who you are, the happier you will be, and the more success will follow.

Should I Take a Leap of Faith?

I have been struggling with taking a leap of faith in my life.  I have been a scientist for 14 years and am now feeling a deep calling to start focusing my attentions and energies on supporting myself through my art (I had only been doing sculpture for a few months now, but realise I have a talent with it).  My struggle is with letting go of my known profession; one in which I am truly unhappy, but where I can support myself financially with ease.  My intellect tells me that I should make a slow transition from one to the other, but I feel strongly that I need to let go of the science so that I can focus on my creative side.  Help!  I am frozen with indecision and fear even though I know that my mental, physical, and spiritual well-being depends on it!"

Bravo for getting in touch with your heart’s calling and being willing to consider a leap of faith. Leaps of faith are just that ― you have to hold the vision of potential positive results before you see them manifested. I can offer you several reframes that will hopefully bring you some sense of relief and reveal to you options you may currently be unaware of:

(1)     Your relationship between science and art may not be an absolute either/or. Is it science you dislike, or your current job?  My guess is that it’s the job.  You may want to open to ways of transitioning that would not require going cold turkey.  Is there a way you could segue gracefully? I suggest you study the life of scientist/artist/metaphysician Walter Russell. (Begin with the book The Man Who tapped the Secrets of the Universe by Glenn Clark).

(2)     Your current level of fear (as you describe it)  is such that I would not recommend forcing a move. If you try to buck your resistance, you may find yourself in a position that is less than desirable. Instead, soothe yourself with thoughts and visions that inspire and empower you. Remember why you want to shift and how good it feels to consider pursuing your art. Inspiration dissipates fear. When your inspiration exceeds your fear, you will be in a good position to make a move. Moreover, the universe will find ways to match you with your intention when you are whole with it, or at least it is stronger in it.

(3)     Lean into your move. Take it in steps, feeling into what is next as you go.

(4)     Use this as an exercise in self-worth. Do you know you deserve to have a career that fulfills you spiritually, emotionally, and financially? This process may be tapping into some beliefs that you cannot have it all. When you realize that you can, doors open.

(5)     Don’t frame this move as a condition for peace. Cultivate peace right where you stand, and you will find that the clarity and logistics for the move (or whatever comes next) will flow naturally.

Where do you get the Energy to Work with so many People?

I admire your work immensely. Moreover, I discovered your books quite accidentally; it had been misplaced in a completely different subject area in a New York bookstore. Anyway, it seems as though we're all here to learn our lessons. Thank you for helping me to understand this. By the way, where do you get the energy to work with so many people?

    Thanks for your comment. No accidents; things show up according to your intention and grace. You are a good manifestor!   

    Working with sincere people inspires and empowers me. There is a give and take in both directions, and I learn as I go. I feel energized, not depleted in my work. I think that’s how it is when you love what you do, in any field of endeavor.

     Blessings on your path.

Can I have a Career with both Passion and Intellect?

I am in my early twenties and recently realized that my plan of becoming a college professor is not a good fit for me in many ways. I have been thinking about becoming a social worker, which would allow me to continue to explore emotions, relationships, and all of the things that I am interested in while helping people on a personal level. This seems great, yet I have this nagging fear that this job would not be intellectually stimulating enough for me. Part of me feels that this might be a projection of my doubt of my ability to help people with their emotional problems, because I have felt “crazy” so much in my life. Another part of me is also just not sure that this is where my talent lies. I feel like I can find things to be passionate about in both options, and neither draws me more than the other. I can't figure out which would be more fulfilling for me, and I would appreciate any advice you may have.

    Think about this less and feel about it more. Your gut will be a better advisor at this moment than your mind.

    You can craft your career to embrace both your intellect and your emotions. Certainly social work has a lot of space for both. It’s up to you. You can have it all, if you choose. Take steps in your chosen direction, and see how they feel. You can always make course corrections as you go along.  

    Being “crazy” is great training for helping other people with their emotional problems. As you master your own life, you are in a better position to help others with similar issues. “What you thought was wrong with you may be what’s right with you.”  So take all of your experience and roll it into assets that will serve not just you, but everyone you touch.

Am I Copping Out for Pursuing Stability before Passion?

I'm 38 and have spent most of my adult life running from and recovering from sexual abuse (mostly recovering now) I plan to begin school toward a master's degree in social work in the fall. I decided to choose work that will provide me with things I've never had but always wanted: stability and regular things, like health insurance, enough money for vacations, a sense of empowerment and autonomy, as well as satisfaction in my work. Alan, my true love is poetry and writing and as soon as I finish school and can manage it I will pursue my desire to take classes in poetry and writing. I plan to pursue a writing therapy certificate also to work in groups with inmates possibly, if that suits me. I hear so much about following your passion etc. but is there anything wrong with satisfying these other more practical needs that have gone unmet for so long first. Is that a cop out? 

Not at all. If your social work degree helps you have a sense of stability, financial support, and career satisfaction, it will create a safe foundation for you to pursue your poetry.  You can have it all, and there is plenty of time to create all your dreams. One step at a time is good. Enjoy the journey.

Feeling Stuck ― What’s Next?

 I am currently feeling stuck about my life. I have been working in the desert of central Oz and find it very draining. My heart says no to this lifestyle. I feel that my heart knows my potential yet I give in to fears and end up running away from them and going back to working in the desert again. I have taken 6 weeks off to just be, go surfing, practice yoga and take long walks on the beach. There is a lot of anxiety arising as I try to just be and see what wants to happen next. Do I run away back to the desert to earn some more money or do sit with the anxiety, is my trust being tested? I really want to make a wonderful life for myself and inspire others to do the same.  

You are not being tested ― you are on a learning curve that will lead you to the results and fulfillment you desire. You know that your work in the desert is not it, as it is draining you, so I would not put a lot of energy into continuing for very long. The happier you are, the clearer you see, and the wiser choices you make on behalf of your dreams. I don’t see value in sitting with your anxiety ― your anxiety is moving you to do something, or at least think about what you are doing in a different way. You described two scenarios that don’t work for you ― your work in the desert, and your anxiety. Now begin to send your thoughts and energy in the direction of what would make you happy. What forms of work or service lift you and open your heart?  Don’t think too much about how to get there, for now. Get a positive vision going. Think out of the box. What do you fantasize about doing?  What have you done that you love?  Do you have any invitations or opportunities before you that stimulate you?  Who is doing something that you would like to do?  Get you mind and heart moving in the direction of your dreams, and you will be amazed at the doors that open.

Desire vs. Reason?

I've just started college (I am 31) and I am feeling a longing to move to the mainland. I am a country-person. I am not a US Citizen so the only way I can stay in the US is going to school. I am planning to join  a 1 1/2 year program here in Honolulu and get a good job in the medical field after graduating. Now, being impatient, I want to move to cowboy country now and not wait until I'll have graduated. But here I have good support and strong social life. So, should I listen to my heart and move to the mainland or should I be mindful and take it slow and graduate first? I've checked the schools on the mainland and tuition is much higher there...... So, longing and desire or reason?                         

My sense is that you would do better to stay where you are for now and allow your evolution to unfold in natural stages. You like where  you are for the support and social life, plus you are saving on tuition. At the age of 31 you have lots of time to do lots of things. You can also fulfill some of your love of the great outdoors in Hawaii – there sure is plenty of room to play. So in the end you may be able to satisfy both longing and reason.

Am I wasting my life?

I'm going through a tough time right now, still coming to terms with the full impact of being a single working mother with a 2-year old. While I've been in this position for about 18 months, I still find myself trying to deny the massive impact this has on my life going forward. I feel like I should coping with this much better and not view my life so negatively...but I am harboring deep-down resentment that my life is now on hold for the foreseeable future as I must raise my son and put his needs above mine. It's hard to accept this at times - I am 33 and I feel like the best years of my life are going to be spent pretty much as a hermit!  Please can you help me to see the positive, help me understand the purpose of my time on this earth and not to regret or resent these years ahead of me. I know just from re-reading this how selfish I sound - again, that's a feeling I want to shake....

     A good reframe will help immensely here. No, you are not selfish for wanting to maximize the value and joy in your time. Indeed every moment is precious, and your desire to make the most of your life is not a sign of egotism, but commitment to your spiritual purpose.

    There might be huge purpose and reward right where you are. I know many people who savor every moment with their children. You, co-creating with Spirit, may have set up this situation for you to be blessed in ways you could not have otherwise foreseen. Is life about doing, or being? About getting somewhere, or finding gifts right where you stand? About action, or connection?  You have a huge opportunity here to develop your relationship with your son that will make a big difference in his life as well as yours. While you may feel overwhelmed or resentful about the position you are in, I assure you there is a reason, and when you discover it, everything will shift.

    I am wondering if your resentment is related to your relationship with your son’s father. While you did not say much about that in your sharing, could your anger be issuing from that relationship that obviously has loose ends to be tied? If this is so, I suggest you do some healing work with yourself or a counselor to find greater strength and freedom where you stand. As you release your partner, you release yourself.

    At 33 you have many, many good years ahead of you. Begin by making the one at hand count, and the rest will open their doors in wondrous ways.

Where Do I Start?

I have been told that I can be a great speaker and that I am a people person. But I don’t really see it. I am 51 years old and I feel like I am not where I am supposed to be in life. I think life has so much to offer me, but where do I start to go first? I know that I am a leader. Please help.

Start right where you are. Accept the possibility that you have the gifts others reflect to you. Live the principles you believe and walk your talk. If you are a leader, those you can help will find you. Take a Dale Carnegie course and join Toastmasters. Then you will be in the company of others on a similar path, and you will find more confidence and direction.

Am I Being Selfish to Pursue my Dream?

Why Your Life Sucks and your website have brought me to this point. But I find frustration in everything I do every day. I have felt a desire to take the never-ending road trip since I was at least a teen (I'm 31 now) but other than unplanned "without specific purpose" travel I have yet to find something that really pulls at me. In many ways my soul seems to have come from a true hippie-vagabond lifestyle, concern for the environment, interest in alternative medicine, macrobiotic eating habits, etc. This idea only seems to serve my desire to be free from responsibility yet I can't get the idea of heading out on the open road from my head or my heart. I think I'm being honest with myself about who I am but I'm stuck with this one "idea." How can something so self-centered be my destiny? Where would anyone find "service to others" in this? How can I get past this to see a calling that serves others and still makes me feel fulfilled?

Recognize that there is no private good. This means that your good, guiding you through the voice of your deepest joy, is intrinsically connected to the good of others. Imagine Ansel Adams writing me and saying, “I just can’t seem to get rid of the desire to be outdoors and photograph nature  ― it seems so selfish.”  Yet ultimately that desire led to him bringing beauty and inspiration to the millions who have enjoyed his photographs. Trust that what lights you will lead to lighting others. When you are happy you are bringing more good to the world than when you are not. Your greatest contribution to the world is your happiness, which will spill over to everyone you meet on both a spiritual level and in practical service. So quit doubting yourself and hit the road.

Why Follow Your Heart?

Why is it so important to follow my heart?

The prompting of your heart is the voice of God guiding you to your highest good. In ancient Egypt, when an important person died, the priests saved the heart, which they believed to be sacred, and discarded the other organs. They understood that the heart was the true seat of wisdom, not the mind. Certainly the mind is important, for God speaks through our thoughts. Yet the deepest wisdom issues not from facts or beliefs, but our inner knowing. Passion is a holy gift, illuminating the shortest route to our chosen destiny.

Do I Need to Compromise?

I read with interest your newsletter in which you talk about not settling for second best. Having sold my home 6 months ago I am still looking for one that suits me.... I know my criteria and am waiting for my miracle but time is passing, prices are rising and next week I am due to move out. Any advice on how to bring my miracle into being? People say I am expecting too much and I need to compromise..... I don't think I should have to settle for second best? A new job and a life partner would be equal- actually greater blessings too!!!!!!! Keep cheery, Sharon
 

Hi Sharon, I don't think you need to compromise. I think it's more about relaxing. There is a divine timing to life, a divine order that is always operating, obviously sometimes and behind the scenes always. The trick is to relax into it and trust the process. Remember the Indiana Jones movie where he had to step out onto the nothingness of the abyss, with faith? Then the bridge appeared. Sometimes it is only when we feel like we have run out the length of our rope that a miracle happens. Remember that you and Spirit always have enough time to do what needs to be done. Relax, breathe, and enjoy the process. Do what you can reasonably, joyfully, and comfortably in any moment, and trust the universe to handle the details. The principle for homes, relationships, health, money, and everything else, is the same. Trust, speak your truth, act with confidence, love, and integrity, and the universe will handle the details.

 Should I Look for a Job?

I am a nurse LVN for 24 years now, I have on many attempts to obtain my RN but am knowing that I want a higher, calmer life. so in August 2004 I quit a job I had been on for 3 years and am still not attempting to look for work because I am not spiritually, or emotionally vested. I have been meditating and that is what gave me peace to make this move. I have accessed my equity line of credit to support myself and can be off for another 6 months 7-05. I have a web site that I started in May 2005 for vitamins and have been interested in health education since 1997, my thing is I have not reached the place of not needing to work as a nurse so I am reluctant to look for another job. the website is alright but not showing a major income stream and this was my goal. WWW.VITARELIEF.COM is a all natural multivitamin product. I use the product and so I believe is a honest thing , When I work as a nurse I cannot think about anything other than that, this time off has helped clear my head. Should I look for a job? I am unmarried and support my self my sons are grown 20yrs and 27yrs. Please I need your input.
 

The fact that you are so passionate about your vitamin business is extremely significant - that is definitely the path to follow. If you can't stop thinking about it, Spirit is definitely calling you to it, and will support you in it. It is fine to do other work in the meantime. If you feel stressed out about funds, do whatever you can to feel more secure. Just keep your vision foremost in your mind. Give it whatever time, energy, and love you can, and dwell in the excitement of its possibilities. Over time your passion will reward you in your career. Indeed a passionate career is the only kind worth living.

 What if You Have No Passion?

I was discussing your book "Why your life sucks" with my friend and we both have the same question. What do you do if you have no passion for anything in particular? We are both single parents and both of our lives have "sucked" for a very long time. We are trying to make the changes but the road is very long and difficult. Any help you can give us would be great. I plan on reading your other books as soon as I can. Thanks for your help. Karen
 

In truth, you and your friend do have a great deal of passion, but you have lost touch with it. I promise you it is in there somewhere! You have just been trained from a young age to live in ways that are socially appropriate, to the extent that you forgot who you were when you were in touch with your passion. A good way to get back in the flow is to notice how everything you do feels. Does it light you up or shut you down? You have to be impeccably honest about this, especially with yourself. Then begin to engage more in the activities that make you feel warm and fulfilled, and let go of activities that leave you feeling cold or empty. This can be as simple as telling the truth about which restaurant you would like to go to for dinner, or which movie you would like to see. Then, over time, as you build your skill of staying in touch with your true desires and living from them, you will start to more and more alive, and also sense where your life force guides you at any moment. When you are honest and real about the little day-to-day decisions (which are really not so little) you get connected to your overall sense of passion about life and your purpose here.

How Do I Get My Book Out?

I know I have a book inside, I just can't get it to come out! Please advise!
 

Just start. The secret to writing is to write. Just sit down and write whatever comes to mind. It doesn't even have to make sense. What do you really want to say? If you were writing strictly to express yourself, what would you write? What would be the most fun? The most enlivening? The most honest? Forget, for now, that anyone will ever read it. Don't write to please or impress anyone. Write to move your own energy. Put the censor or editor aside for now. Also consider what fears you may have about putting your work out there. Fear of being judged? Compared to others? Fear of failing? Fear of succeeding? None of these matter. They are all smoke. Writing is a magnificent opportunity for you to bring your soul to life through words. Just do it. Let it be born.

Will Following my Bliss Hurt Someone?

What if someone finds joy in going out and shooting a bunch of innocent people in a fast-food restaurant? Surely this person is not helping by following his bliss.
 

No one who is in touch with his or her bliss would want or need to hurt anyone else. Someone who shoots innocent people is not motivated by bliss, but by pain and fear. Such a person is extremely wounded. If he had been in touch with his bliss and followed it, he would never have to do an aberrant act in attempt to relieve his pain. That is why the best deterrent to violence and abuse is to teach children at an early age to respect the voice of joy as the voice of God.

 Why Am I Not Living Up to My Potential?

 I am in my 40's and feel good about many aspects of my evolving life, and I am increasingly able to focus on the thoughts and statements that reflect the vibrancy and upliftment and expansiveness and passion (and so forth) of who I am/who I choose to be. Putting my energy there returns energy to me. But I always end up with "what do I do with this energy?" or as I frame it for myself: I want to, but seem unable to, find or choose a vocation/job/career. I have done lots of things but haven't found "my job." Two reasons this is not okay with me are (1) I hardly make money, even though I am very bright, talented, energetic, hardworking etc. because I don't know what I really want or haven't found it, and (2) I am dissatisfied because I can FEEL the unlived potential, and that I am not living what I could be living. Additionally, this issue now impacts my personal life, in that I now feel, which I didn't when this difficulty hadn't gone on for so long, that whoever I might want wouldn't really want me because of this "shameful" aspect: my lack of accomplishment (after overachieving through college) and my lack of long-term economic self-sufficiency. I wish I understood what is really going on here, and even more, I wish to change this so I can feel fulfilled and proud of myself. Thanks in advance for your words, and heart energy, in response.
 

You have several layers of issues working here:

The last one you listed, feeling shameful about not succeeding (as you believe success should be defined) is probably the most important one to look at.

Someone once told me, "the critical voice is not your own." If you examine the "shoulds" that float around in your head chiding you about your "failure," you will recognize that they all came from some other person's voice. Perhaps your father, or a teacher, or elder sibling - someone who pounded into you their (stressed and painful) value system until you believed it is your own. But it is not. It is entirely learned, and can be unlearned.

The first part of your question proceeds from great self-empowerment. You have obviously latched onto some universal principles that make your life work, and you know how to put them into action. Now it is a matter of applying these uplifting truths to the situation at hand.

The only true measure of success is joy. So as you practice doing what brings you joy, or reframing what you are doing so you experience more joy, you step into spiritual success.

From everything I have observed over many years of working with people in positions similar to yourself, I see that as you align more and more with your joy, you attract to yourself people and situations that support you materially. So your best investment in finding the right job or career is to get happy now and let the Law of Attraction deliver to you your right work.

One additional practice you can do, is to begin to tell the impeccable truth about how everything your are doing feels. If it lifts you, be honest about it. If it drags you down, be honest about that. Gradually you will develop a relationship with your intuition that shows you where your passion lives. The more aliveness you generate in the seemingly mundane activities of your day, the more you will tap into for the big picture of your life.

Your situation is less about a career, and more about self-love, compassion, and finding the good and beauty within you, right where you are.

Struggling Between Trust and Fear

Two years ago, my husband and I felt a deep urge to quit our corporate jobs and follow our dreams. My husband wanted to become a professional landscape photographer, and my dream was to be a stay-at-home mother. So 2 years ago, we sold our home, our land, then packed up our family and headed to Montana for a summer-intensive course in photography. I am now a stay-at-home mother to our two young boys, and my husband now owns his own photography business, Roach Images (www.roachimages.com). We have read your book “The Dragon Doesn’t Live Here Anymore” and we read “A Deep Breath of Life” every morning. We believe that the universe we live in is a loving, giving and abundant one, and we have trusted that our career / life changes were what we needed to achieve a sense of peace and freedom in life. My motto has been “God would not lead us down this path for so long to dump us off in the gutter somewhere”. So here’s where I get perplexed: Our money will officially run out at the end of this month. We have poured our heart and soul and all of our finances into our new business and lifestyle (we downsized and now live very simplify ), and I’m feeling a bit jilted by the universe, to be honest. Our business is not generating the type of income we anticipated at all, and I’m not sure where to turn or what to do. Are things really working behind the scenes to help and guide us? I struggle between spirit (trust and relax – everything is being taken care of, you have no need to fear) and my “old” way of thinking (you need to get a “real” job to earn enough income to live comfortably). Can you offer any words of wisdom for us?
 

You are actually in a very good position - perched on the threshold of the next level of learning - maybe even a good miracle.

You were absolutely right on to follow your dream. As I read your account of how you and your husband packed up your family and went off to live in accord with your passion, I began to feel excited. There was a lot of juice in your decision and action, and I respect you for it.

What you are butting up against now is not so much the drying up of your resources, but the edge of your belief system. Somewhere inside your precious mind (and your husband's) still lives vestiges of the notion that you must work at something you dislike to deserve a living; that following your joy is frivolous. This is an old struggle ethic that a lot of us have wrestled with. You count your worth by how much you sweat, and money is the reward for your suffering. Even a little examination of this philosophy, in light of what you know about how Spirit works, will reveal it to be archaic and counterproductive.

The thought that God has dumped you off and that you have been jilted by the universe is exactly the belief that this entire situation has come up to shed light on. Do you really think this is the truth, or is this the voice of someone you learned fear from? Keep holding this question up to the light, and you will get a good answer.

As you approach the anticipated end of your resources, ask for help and guidance from the universe. In the Old Testament, when the Hebrew people were fleeing from Egypt and they reached the Red Sea, the biblical commentary tells us that the sea did not part as depicted in the Ten Commandments movie. We are told that some of the Jewish people walked into the sea up to their necks before the waters parted. We are further told that it was because of their faith that the waters parted; they drew the miracle by their trust. P>

Your next steps could take any one of a hundred different directions. Regard it all as a big adventure. No matter what you choose next, your life is richer for your following your hearts. Pray for guidance, stay in joy, and your answers will come. The universe is seeking ways to support you. Your part is to let it love you. p.s. I checked out your husband's website - the images are excellent. Don't stop now.

Suggestions for a New Writer?

I have been lost in your words, and have seen mirror reflections in your ideas. I have had tremendous life experiences that have over time, left me with an abundance of faith and gratitude from my wake of perceived pain. I have discovered my passion for writing and sharing these invaluable insights. Would you be so kind as to give some suggestions to a new writer? I am in the process of manifesting my grandest and most humble intentions. Knowing we are all interconnected through the Universal energy field, I believe anything is possible; even the chance that you may respond to my request for guidance. I do thank you for your time and energy.
 

The secret of writing is to write. Just get down on paper the ideas that are most exciting to you. Write for yourself; don't try to please or impress others. Speak your strongest truth. Meditate before you begin. Clear your mind and ask for guidance from your inner sage. Keep yourself turned on and inspired, and if you get bored or distracted, keep coming back the to best truth you know. Don't make it a struggle or try to force it. Hook your pipeline up to your vision, and let yourself be inspired and empowered. Set proper boundaries so you honor your writing time. Make it sacred. Most of all, have fun. The more you love to write it, the more people will love to read it.  

Facing the Shadow When Your Toes are on the Edge

hey Alan, just want to tell you that it's been almost a year since I attended mastery training with my buddy Lori and we STILL laugh about the many wonderful stories we came home with! Also, I look at my life and the expansion that has taken place inside me since then. I continue to glean new things from that time almost a year ago! Here's the deal; Though I have daily gratitude for my life and am consciously focused on creating each and every day (some days more successful than others) I feel a 'shadow' of ??? that continues to nip my heels almost daily. And, I also feel like I'm on the threshold of breakthrough - how does it feel for you personally when your toes are on the edge? thanks for your contributions to this world love Janet
 

Hi Janet, It's always fun to hear from you. You are a bright and delightful spirit.

The "shadow" is nothing more than the residue of old thought habits. Growth and healing blossom in due time, and there is often a period of time when the old is clearing out before the new can come in. Imagine a bucket of old water under a faucet with new water coming in. The more the new water comes in, the more the old water flows out. The shadow is just old water that doesn't serve you anymore.

I am certain that if you daily stay with the thoughts, feelings, people, and activities that bring you closer to peace, you will gradually clear out the old fears or senses of limits. Then one day you will notice that you are far ahead of where you were.

If you are in the vicinity of folks who are negative or fearful, that can tend to spill into your consciousness. So you might be picking up the pain or fears of others, rather than your own. At that point your job is to stay with your energy and hold your space. Peace is always more powerful than upset.

Reframe standing with your toes on the edge as an exciting experience. You are alive and surfing on the cutting edge. That may bring up some trepidation, but that will give way to exhilaration as you stay true to your passion. Love always wins.

Where Did You Study?

Hi Alan I discovered your homepage a few days ago. The story/legend about the African tribe/ -song was moving around my head. It touched my heart deeply. But unfortunately I couldn't remember where in the internet I have found it. Oh, now!!! "Caroline why didn't you write it down somewhere.", I thought. So it took my some time to find you again! I thank God! And I'm so impressed! About you and what you are saying. I like listening to you. So I relisten and relisten the audio-interviews. You have a nice voice, I like it. And I now I want to buy a book of you, at least try to order it in the English book shop here in Zurich. Now, my question. I was surfing like a fool in internet and looking at your homepage to find out more about your career. I'm very curious about it! Where did you study? Which University? What subjects? I'm living in Zurich, and I enrolled for this upcoming semester for psychology. But my impression of the lectures (I have been several times for a visit) is, that it's not the psychology I am interested really. It's too scientific. This September I will be in California for one month. I will visit two private Universities: C.I.I.S. in San Francisco and the J.F. K. from Orinda. But yeah, to study in the U.S. ...it's a lot of money and paperwork. Anyway...Which University do you recommend? Which University is the most aligned with your approach/life view/NEW Thought/humanistic psy.? Yep, and who knows, perhaps I will come for the Mastery training some time. Thank you a lot for your being and now your help, Alan! Yours sincerely Caroline (27, elementary-school teacher)
 

Hi Caroline,

I enjoyed the sincerity of your question. Your innocent honesty is refreshing. And thank you for the kind words about the article. Glad you found it.

I studied psychology at Yeshiva University in New York and Rutgers University in New Jersey. I went on to get my master's degree in Human Organizational Development and Montclair State College in New Jersey.

Regarding psychology, I also found it to be very heady and scientific and in many ways dissociated from real life. It was only when I began my spiritual path and studied with several spiritual masters that I felt that I was learning how to live and help others. After many years, I see that psychology and psychotherapy have as much value as they are connected to a spiritual foundation, or bigger picture than the little mind. There is so much more to us and life than our thoughts and our childhood traumas!

As for your request for recommendation for a university to study at, I have heard good things about the University of Santa Monica and Institute for Transpersonal Psychology. (You can find both of them on the web.)

As for the Mastery Training, it is a powerful accelerator for spiritual growth, passion, and life direction. Hope you can join us soon.

Blessings on your path.

 Emotional Exhaustion

Hi Alan! I have enjoyed reading your words over the years - specifically, A Deep Breath of Life, which I read each morning. I often find exactly the guidance I am looking for. Thank you! My question for you right now....I am looking for any guidance or suggestions you may have to deal with what feels like emotional exhaustion and perhaps, fear. I have just recently landed my dream job teaching at a local college - exciting subject material. I have two healthy teenagers - I am a single mom - I'm financially fine - physically healthy. In the past six months, I seem to have lost my zest...my energy...I just met with a life coach yesterday, and this feels like a good first step. Just curious as to any thoughts or ideas that you might have as I find my way out of this dip. Why do you think these kind of dips occur in the first place, when on the outside, everything appears basically good? It goes to show that it's not about the external condition....the internal state still doesn't feel great even though all appears well. Just curious as to your thoughts on these spiritual lows.
 

An excellent question that many people can identify with. We can take this in a number of different directions. I'll toss a few ideas out, and you can feel which resonates with you. . .

1. You have already touched on the lesson that it's not what's outside that makes us happy. We think that a particular mate, or new job, or new living situation will change our attitude and happiness (and sometimes it does), but ultimately it is what is happening inside of us that determines our life force. Sometimes when people get everything outside lined up, but they still harbor self-doubts or fears or resistance, it shows up. This is wonderful, for it moves you to look inside and see who you really are independent of the external accoutrements. The process stimulates you to delve more deeply into your inward journey, your connection with Source, which is what all of our experiences are leading to.

2.All forms of fatigue - especially exhaustion - speak of resistance. Is there anything that you are fighting against in thought or feeling? Are you doing anything that you really don't want to be doing? Are there any relationships that are draining you? No one is ever just tired - they are always tired of something. If you can get in touch with what that something is, tell the truth about it, and deal with it in a way that helps you drop your resistance, you will be amazed at how quickly and naturally your energy returns.

3.What started to happen in your life six months ago? That might be a key.

Often when we take a step forward, old habits of thought or unfaced feelings show up. This is good, for such proclivities have come up to be faced and released. Then you move to the next rung of your life with more energy and joy.

Happy journey, Alan

Pooped

I love your sentiment ""Don't try to make good things happen. Let good things happen.""...but ahhhhh, what about when ""shit happens""? I'm pretty good at rolling with stuff, knowing that things will pass, everything for a reason etc. etc... (I make great lemonade from lemons when I have to)... but how do you handle things when you are barraged with ""ka ka"" to the point of just being overwhelmed, tired and drained?
How do you get your energy back/up and groovin' when you barely have any left? (Any tips on dealing with Murphy running amok with his laws?) I'm pooped!

Being drained and overwhelmed is a result not so much of the events that occur, but your resistance to them. Mental and emotional resistance is what wears our energy down. You can dance with lots of different situations, and if you hold them lightly and remember your priorities, they will not get to you. You have a wonderful opportunity to practice letting Spirit be your partner, and handling the things you can't. "Despair says I cannot lift that weight. Happiness says I do not have to." (James Richardson).

When you feel overwhelmed, stop, step back, take a deep breath, and do whatever you can to nourish your spirit. Step outdoors for a while, listen to some music, connect with someone you love, etc. When you come back to your actions from a place of wholeness, they will seem much less overwhelming and you might even have some fun with them.

 Bored and Weighed Down

 I find myself bored with my job, bored with always having to exercise (so I'm not!) and these things are weighing me down to the point that I'm overweight (need to lose at least 50# for my frame) and I feel because I live in a very small town that my resources to find a job that makes me happy are really limited. to the point that I don't quit the one I have because finding another is so difficult. I don't know what to do really. I'm doing my best at staying positive with my thoughts, etc, but reality it taking over I think! help?!

Boredom is a sign that you know more is available to you than you have been living. It is your inner being saying - shouting - "What you are doing is not it! Don't settle for feeling stuck!"

You are right about the weight - it is a sign that you are weighing yourself down, looking for some kind of nurturing to substitute for the soul-satisfaction you are missing. It's good that you recognize this dynamic.

You can exercise all day long, but if you are not connecting with your passion and living from it, your regime will not help. You need to exercise your joy more than your body. Then your body will take care of itself.

Just because you live in a small town does not make you limited. Only thoughts create limits. Change your mind about your possibilities, and they will reveal themselves to you. When you commit to living your truth, the universe can show up in any of thousands of ways to deliver.

It is not reality that is taking you over, but fear. Reality will only serve you at this point. Tell more truth about who you are and what you want to do, act on it, and you will be amazed at hw your life - and body - shape up.

Would Like to be a Playboy

First let me say I love your book: I had it all the time. It is the best book in the self help genre ever written. Anyway in that book you say do what you love and you say if you had the money and support, well let me tell you I would be a playboy with an entourage of dieticians, personal trainers and masseuses. I would workout to get buff and practice a self defense, and hang out and chase women. This is where my enthusiasm derives, I get a burst of energy when I am around them. So, for me I don't know if I have a passion to directly help others. I was thinking maybe personal training, and public speaking but, I am concerned with becoming famous, and besides part of my dream is not to create a job but, have a self sufficient business without me being the brand, or even having to physically run it. If you come to a conclusion let me know. Thanks.. There are people that really live like that isn't it?
 

You've raised quite a few ideas and issues here. What you want to do is less important than why you want to do it. What feeling does chasing women and being famous bring you? Does it make you feel worthwhile and important? Do you know that you are attractive, worthwhile, and important just as you are? While pursuing women and fame may be fun for a while (certainly most men could understand this desire), ultimately you would have to look in the mirror and realize, like the book title says, "I Had It All the Time." Everything that you desire through women and fame is available to you right now, right where you are, just as you are. Why get rich quick when you can be rich now?

Your question is a sincere one: Can I go out and have all the fun I imagine? Indeed you can. Just be sure that the fun you are having brings you reward in a place the means something deep inside you. I sense that you are a passionate, big-thinking person. This is a great asset. Can you think of ways you can move your passion and vision that will set you up to win, along with everyone you touch? Indeed you can.

Yes, there are people who live like this. In some ways they may be happy; in other ways, not. If you know anyone who has this lifestyle, get to know them - not just their image - and come to your own conclusions. You may find the experience very enlightening.

Check out the movie Ground Hog Day. Bill Murray's character realizes that he cannot die, so he goes out to have a good time. He gets it on with women and eats all the ice cream sundaes he can find -- after all, what has he got to lose? After a while, he finds his life empty, and he seeks to find ways to help people. Then his life has meaning. So build your career and relationships on making a difference in other people's lives, and you will find amazing fulfillment in your own.

How Can I know My Deeper Purpose?

First I would like to comment that I very much enjoy receiving your newsletter and your book The Dragon Doesn't Live Here Anymore although was one among many 'spiritual' books I have read, was one of the ones that made the most impact on me.  Thank you.

My question is:  Although I am quite aware of what my 'life purpose' is and my gifts and I am sharing them I feel that there is more.  As a person who guides others to find their truth/passion and live it (my life purpose) through my job as a Career Counselor I desire to take this to a 'deeper' level.  I would like to integrate more spiritual concepts into my work but since I work for a government institution there is a limit o­n how much I can do this.  Of course it is always easier to guide others than o­neself so I have been struggling for some time with how to do this, (carry out my souls purpose to my satisfaction).  I tried to do Spiritual Life Coaching with others but keep encountering road blocks (mostly financial restrictions) and what appears like bad timing.  I am not sure if that is because it is not what I really need to be doing, or that I just need to keep persevering.  Do you have any suggestions o­n how to move myself forward towards sorting out / getting clear on what I feel are the urgings of my soul? 
 

First of all, while is may seem more difficult to infuse spirit into your job because it is a government job, it is not impossible. I know people who have remained quite joyful and created meaningful interactions in the midst of positions that would seem overbearing. Remember that spirituality is not so much about what you do, but how you do it - the spirit in which you act. So if you are in a job, whether it is for just a short time or many years, find ways to keep yourself alive and peaceful in it, and to use your interactions with colleagues and clients as a venue to join and enjoy each other. Some of the greatest saints and healers I have known, have operated "undercover" in positions where you would not expect to find them.

Moving on to your current situation, if you feel there must be more, there is more. You just have to figure out how to tap into it.

When you say that you had difficulty generating an income with Spiritual Life Coaching, I am wondering if somewhere inside your mind you harbor a belief that such work is too easy, and that you need to have a hard job or struggle to make a living. This is a program that many people have learned, and it needs to be faced and erased to move beyond it.

You don't need to persevere as much as you need to get clear. If you could paint a scenario of your ideal job and your ideal day, what would that look and feel like? Do you know anyone who is doing what you would like to do and is getting paid for it? Focus on role models and even get to know them and talk to them. You will discover that you can have what you want and it can be easier than you think. You have to love yourself enough to know that you deserve to have a job you love and that pays well. This takes some practice, but it is the most fun practice of all - and it gets results.

 How to Keep my Dream on the Front Burner?

Dear Alan, I LOVE your work. Thank you for being a ray of hope in my life. I am a single mom of a 14 year old boy, we have been "on our own" since he was 15 months old. Although challenging at many times, I am always thankful that I have a healthy beautiful teenage boy. Finally, here's my question, in 1999, I traveled to Maui and have not been the same since. I vowed that once my son gets to college, I am going to live in Maui, as the island bug really hit me. I live in a suburb of Chicago, so you can imagine how enticing Maui was for me. Not to mention the peaceful feel of the island as well as its people. When I mention this to people, they act like I am moving to Mars? They all say it isn't possible. Well I know in my heart that it is indeed possible, even for a single mom. Not a day goes by that Maui doesn't cross my mind, something really powerful in my eyes. Any tips on keeping my dream on the front burner and alive while awaiting the 3 years I have "left" to reside in Chicagoland?

I can speak from my own experience here. I fell in love with Hawaii, too, and moved there. Some people thought I was crazy, but I knew in my heart that it was right for me. And it certainly was.

Remember that no one can know your destiny as well as you can. If your inner guide keeps urging you to follow your heart, that is the best authority in the world. If other folks like it where there are (or don't and feel they have to stay), that is their choice and they have a right to it. You also have a right to your choice. Ultimately you are the one who must live with your decisions, so only you can make them.

Many thousands of people have felt called to move to Hawaii, and they have done so. It is quite possible and realistic of those who for whom it is right. "Living out your dreams can be far more therapeutic than analyzing them."

Let your dream empower you even while you remain where you are. I stayed in New Jersey for 2 years after I decided to move to Maui. During that time I put photos of Maui up, watched movies about it, talked about it, and dreamed about it. That kept my passion and spirits high. Before you know it, you will be there.

Half-Empty or Half-Full?

I am miserable with my life. I used to be a very helpful, joyful, cup half full type of person .however , for the last 3 yrs I have lost my zest for living. I am married for 15yrs and have a beautiful 13 yrs old daughter. Due to a spine condition that I was born with, but was able to live with it , the time has arrived that I cannot function as before, zapping and frustrating my life ,as well as my families. My husband is a "half empty cup" and as I said I'm a :half full" type of person. I feel so frightened to take any steps toward what I want out of fear of losing all that I have. I used to be an avid equestrian jumper until a crashed jump ended my life long dream of getting to the Grand Prix. Now my daughter has inherited my gene and is a competitive equestrian also. I so admire her riding and her dream, so close to what mine was.. My problem is the only way to get her the horse she needs would mean I would have to refinance my home.. I'm afraid to take that step. Am I holding back, out of fear of losing my home or should I really head in the direction that my heart is truly in? Would you consider this a risk to take or resurrect "common Sense" I am disabled and my half empty cup husband covers all financial matters, however, he also loves to gamble... Can you offer me any advice? Thank you

First of all, a good question to ask yourself would be, What was happening 3 years ago that began to move you from a half-full to a half-empty way of thinking? What did you begin to feel or believe that undermined the joy you once felt? What truth did you not tell that you need to express? Further, which is closer to the true you - the joyful person, or the depressed one?

Regarding your question about purchasing the horse for your daughter, your language is very telling: you describe your dilemma between giving in to fear and following your heart. I believe in the heart more than fear.

While I do not know your finances and cannot tell you what to do, I do sense a strong desire for you to help your daughter, and I expect that such a gift would bring you greater life, as well as her. But the decision must come from inside you, not me or her or anyone else. If you try to support her while feeling mostly afraid, this will not work. If you get to the place where your sense of joy and aliveness from such a decision is greater and more compelling than any fear, you will feel empowered. Keep asking yourself why you would want to do this, and keep trying on for size the feelings of the scenarios of getting her the horse or not getting it. Pray, too, for guidance. Ask Spirit to give you signs. Keep reaching to find where your greatest life force lives.

Whether or not you get your daughter the horse is less important than that you love her and believe in her, which you obviously do. If she feels your caring, support, and belief, she is in for a glorious ride - her life.

Spinning My Wheels

I have been feeling like I am just Spinning my wheels in my professional life and personal as well......I am just ready for a big change........How do you keep the faith that something "even better "will come about? It just seems like the opportunities that have presented themselves in the last couple of years were either not right for me or just came to a dead end.
I just ache sometimes...........and I would like a bigger, grander change than  even I can imagine ..
Did you ever go through this ? I would appreciate your thoughts

I have gone through periods when I felt like you do. This is actually a very exciting position to be in. Your feeling of uneasiness and “there must be more” indicates that there is more – and you are getting ready for it. You need to begin to tell the impeccable truth about what brings you life and what numbs you. If you are honest about this, you will begin to see a pattern. Have the courage to think, write, and speak about what you would really love to be doing – even if it seems to be outrageous or impossible. As you begin to explore your passion, you may find that what you want is within your reach. Isn’t it amazing and wonderful how your soul knows that what you have been doing – including the unwanted opportunities that have come your way – does not match you? If you know that these are not it, there is a place inside you that knows what is it. It is time for you to go within and renew your spiritual connection. Before attempting to make changes in your outer world, strengthen your inner world. Pray, meditate, get into nature, or do whatever you do that connects you with yourself and your Higher Power. As you get in touch with your inner being and live from it, you will have access to unlimited wisdom and vision, and your external path will reveal itself naturally and easily.

 Confidence to Meet my Destiny

I have been a huge fan of yours since reading your book, “The Dragon Doesn’t Live Here Anymore”. I was divorced three years ago after my marriage of 23 years finally unraveled. I was raised in an entrepreneurial family and have either run a family business or started one of my own during the better part of those 23 years. I have three grown daughters, all attending universities in various parts of the country. After the devastating and bitter divorce, we filed bankruptcy and I took a menial job working in the call center of regional baby bell company. I have never been passionate about anything in my life, other than my family. I worked extremely hard and provided an excellent standard of living for my family. I was and still am a very devoted father and believed that my life’s purpose was to provide for my family and remain in my marriage no matter how difficult it was. After the divorce, my life was turned up side down. It has taken me three years to get my feet on the ground and start putting the pieces back together. Your book, along with other like type authors have been immensely helpful. Moreover, this brings me to my question. I have recently found my passion and purpose in life and am extremely excited in developing my new career. The problem is I feel stuck in my current position (because of my finances and need to continue supporting my daughters in college and provide them insurance) and do not know how to break out and find employment in my new field. I have operated several small businesses (30 employees or less) and have a B.A. in business administration. I feel led to get involved with a small company at the ground level that is developing an alternative form of energy (specifically, hydrogen) and take that company to a place that will change the world. This is my dilemma. I have misplaced my confidence (after my divorce, bankruptcy and “menial” job at a call center) and find it difficult conveying to business organizations why they should hire me to work in their company. I really desire to run their company, but realize I have to start in another position and I do not know what that would be. Most perspective employers want to know what position you are applying for and are looking for specific skills and background in their industry. I have owned and managed small businesses in various fields, but have absolutely no experience in any energy related industry. Yet, this is where I fervently believe my destiny lies. I AM going to be a major part of changing the world but am at a quandary in how to begin. My current job is zapping my energy and yet I need that energy to convey to the Universe my intentions. What do you suggest?
 

You are in an excellent and enviable position because you have gotten in touch with your passion and purpose. Let that be your dominant theme that provides the platform for everything else you do. When you burn with the fire of purpose, everything else will line up to support that intention. I am reminded of a quote by W. H. Murray that feels appropriate here: “Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.” Attributed to Goethe: “Are you in earnest? Seize this very minute; What you can do, or dream you can do, begin it; Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.” The fact that you are currently in a position that does not match your vision, does not have to stop you. You can earn your income from your present job while moving full speed ahead to set up work that is aligned with your special project. Many actors and artists wait tables while they are developing their true career. Bless your current work as a means to an end, yet keep your eye firmly fixed on your true objective. Don’t worry for a moment about your skills not being applicable to the energy industry. The energy motivating you is the best industry at your disposal! The kind of skills and experience you have can be easily translated. If you know how to do one thing well, it is easy to carry that wisdom to another field. Even more important, your passion will make you a good learner and help you attract people and situations that will support you

 Procrastinating

I can't seem to stop procrastinating. What can I do to get on the right track?
 

First ask yourself if the things you are procrastinating about are a "should" or  a "would." When you think about doing the things you would love to do, you find the joy and energy to do them. Your difficulty may not be procrastination, but an overbearing sense of things you should do. 
Whenever you decide anything, you become empowered. Make as many decisions in each day as possible. The biggest choice you will ever make is to love yourself right just as you are, right where you are. Don't use procrastination as an excuse to beat yourself up. Give yourself some more space to be.
Remember that everything has a right timing. There is a flow to life. When you are in it, you are empowered to do all you need to do when you need to do it.
Do not fear making a wrong decision. Often any decision is better than no decision. Act with a light heart, enjoy your process, and you will be amazed at what gets done through you and around you. And if can find a way to be happy no matter what, you will be doing a lot for the world.

 Is Life a Fight?

Why do I always feel like I'm in a fight with life thing are always a struggle to make them workout and I'm not happy were I'm at in my life and very long even when I'm with my husband I'm always scared and afraid I just don't know.
 

Life was never meant to be a struggle, and if you are struggling as much you say you are, you need to take a step back and reevaluate what is motivating you.
I suggest that you connect with either your Higher Power or a coach or counselor that can walk with you through your various life situations and find a way to discover more joy in them. There is always something good in everything, and if you are willing to look, you will find it.

You are probably fighting with yourself. Can you find a loveable person inside you? Do you know your worth to have the things you want?  Do you realize that you are not alone?  Do you recognize that the universe is trying to support you to be happy?

When you relax even a bit and open to the presence of love in and around you, you will be amazed at how your fear dissipates.

You might check out the book "Love is Letting go of Fear" and the Abraham material www.abraham-hicks.com.

Blessings o­n your journey. You have wonderful discoveries in store.

Do or Wait?

How do you know when to DO something versus sitting back and waiting for something to happen? Doing something turns thought into action, yet I've read that you can't always DO anything; it's what you're being that counts. How can you be in a state of BEING and not DO an activity to help you be in that state of being? My confusion is over when to "let go and let God" versus "if you take o­ne step, God will take two/God helps those who helps themselves."  There are times I want to act but I fear that it's our society's conditioning of "Do, Do, Do" taking over. How do you know the difference?
 

Doing always proceeds naturally from being, but being does not necessarily proceed from doing. Lots of folks believe that if they could just do enough, they can be what the want. It's the other way around: if you can just be enough, the doing will happen.

When you are ripe and ready to create something, if there is something you need to do, you will know it and you will want to do it. It will not be a "should" or a pressure from outside. It will be a joyful desire that feels good to express. So God is using you for the doing. But you are not sourcing the doing. God is, and you are an open vessel through which the manifestation flows. So you are indeed letting go and letting God -- and if God hires you, then you are a willing participant.

Considering Stopping the Rat Race

From anyone else's perspective, my life is "perfect."  I have been married to my best friend for 10 wonderful years, I have a gorgeous 2 year old son, I am an intelligent, healthy, 32 year old woman, and I have a solid career with a Fortune 500 company. From my view, I am numb and just going through the motions.  There is not enough energy in the world for me to be who I want to be at work and also at home for my family and still have time and energy leftover to nurture my mind/body connection.  I am considering stopping the rat race of my 60 hour per week career to work part time as a consultant.  I don't "love" my job but am afraid to give up my career and replace o­ne problem (no time/energy) with another (no money).  How do I get past the fear of leaving a stable career to do what I know is right in my heart?
 

Your question is one I have heard in many forms from many people, both those who are at brink of a change, and those who have taken their leap of faith.

Your confession that your life is perfect o­n the outside but you are numb o­n the inside is both crucial and courageous. So many people go through a deadening job daily, but have not come to the awareness that they are dying inside, or have not found the courage to admit it. So congratulations for your self-awareness and your willingness to ask for what you want and make a shift.

One thing is for sure: You cannot afford to keep going o­n in a situation that is sapping you of your energy. You either need to find a way to change how you are doing your job so you feel enlivened, or change your work so it is more sane and empowering. It sounds like you are moving in the latter direction, and I think that is quite healthy.

I have known many people who have let go of "secure" positions to do work that is more creative, closer to their heart, and more peaceful. Many of them have found a new niche, and bless the new life they have begun. Their change is in some ways scary, but ultimately enlivening.

I suggest you talk to some folks who have made the kind of change you are envisioning, and get some ideas of how they have done it. Even more important, get a sense of how their life has changed for the better. Create some positive role models for yourself to inspire you.

Even if you do make a shift and it does not work out for any reason, you can return to the corporate world. Some folks do this. Most move o­n. In any event, you will have a great adventure. You will have the satisfaction of knowing that you were true to your instincts and believed in yourself to follow your inner guidance. So you really cannot lose.

Consider this a workshop in growing beyond your fear. It is less about the job and money, (although I recognize this consideration) and more about you having the faith and courage to believe in yourself and a Higher Power that supports you to claim more peace.  With the intention you are holding to be more energetically available to yourself and your family, I don't see how you can go wrong.

A couple of quotes:
"Leap, and the net will appear." - Julia Cameron
"Don't play for safety. It's the most dangerous thing in the world." - Hugh Walpole
"The wise man in the storm prays to God, not for safety from danger, but for deliverance from fear. It is the storm within that endangers him, not the storm without." Emerson

Teenager Wants to Not Worry

Hey Alan, I'm actually not a client ..nor am I from the States. my name is Ally ..anyways I haven't known about you or anything ..I was surfing the web for "life" because I'm having this English project in school about it ..but its really bothering me actually. I don't know what do you work or anything.. but as I read your articles o­n the website I guessed that you were an author. your article about "If I'd rather pay money for being myself" made me realize that not everything in this world deserves what I'm passing through. in short I'm exploding ..do you solve life problems ?? sorry I may sound dumb and all ..I just couldn’t stand life anymore. I hate it ..everything just goes wrong ..its never right or the way I want it ..life is so NT fair ..I've been passing through this depression state from nearly 5 months now and I wonder if life would make me suffer more ..I don’t doubt that ..I'm actually sure it will. I'm sick of people around me ..Everyone gets what they want and I always get nothing..my main suffer lies in my heart..my heart that is getting weaker and weaker every time pain calls o­n it ..I have a kind heart ..I'm not saying that just because I'm showing off or something I just don’t know how to hate people and be rude and mean ..but I'm learning really..i cant stay like that ..being the o­ne who has to suffer silently ..alone !! People around me are feelingless and I wish I was good at that too..well I lack hate ..I need to learn how to hate..im not heartbroken nor am I in love..i don’t think a teenager is worth my tears ..coz I know he will end it in a way or another ..sooner or later..its too early to think of “the o­ne” .I admire a person in my life. I envy that person for being able to hide their feelings inside ..I too obvious..which is bad ..I hate worrying others about me and I hate to worry..but this me ..I don’t feel like a whole if I don’t start worrying..however I need a way to stop THINKING !! I cant sleep anymore..or if I slept I cant stop crying. I even cry my eyes out in my dreams. I need to stop thinking of those who hurt me. thinking of what's going o­n around me..thinking of what happened and is going to happen..having those what if ‘s everyday..people say I'm an honest person ..but hey I'm not..im sometimes rejected by fear..fear of being hated if I did this and that ..Lying !! I'm good at that o­ne..but as I mentioned above I'm obvious ..I have been given an advice to change my life ..but the question is HOW ?? if fate is the o­ne controlling it ..then its hard to change it ..I'm satisfied in fate anyways I cant judge fate nor can I stop it from happening..but surely I can cope with it and live it ..confusion is filling me ..and I'm always having a feeling of being guilty in this life for something..and I don’t know what..its really good that I'm learing how to get this all out and not wait for my problems to fill inside of me ..fit..and wait to burst and explode.

Your friends are right – honesty is a strength you have. I am also amazed that you found my website while researching a school project on “life.” You see, there are no accidents. You were looking for life, and some great magnificent intelligent Force heard your call for help and guided you in this direction. That same Force will continue to guide you. I am sorry that you are in so much pain. It must be very difficult to go through life when your heart is hurting as you describe. When your heart is hurting, it forces you to look for deeper answers. Some people never look deeper than the surface, and they are yearning for something, but don’t know what it is. Those who look for deeper meaning find it. It is a blessing that you are in touch with your feelings, honest about them, and reaching out for help at a young age. Your call for help will be answered and you have your whole life ahead of you to learn, grow, and enjoy. You will come out on the other side of the depression you describe and find greater fulfillment, I am sure. Yes, there are many people who are unkind and unfeeling. They are in pain and do not know how to deal with their pain, so they shut their hearts down and act cold and cruel. You can be sure that they are calling for love. Someone as sensitive as you feels more deeply. Believe me, this is an asset. You are growing in compassion, which will be a huge gift as you turn your attention and skills to help others. And you will. You do not need to learn how to hate. You are just practicing learning how to love more. You have hit the limits of your thinking mind. Obviously it can take you just so far, and then its answers are empty. You are being moved to look inside for answers. Your heart always knows. Regarding people’s suggestions to change your life, that is exactly why all of this is coming up for you. You can find lots of practical ideas in my books Why Your Life Sucks and What You Can Do About It and A Deep Breath of Life. You also mentioned that you are not from the states. If you want to write back and tell me where you are from, perhaps I could suggest some people or resources you might connect with that can help you. You are doing better than you know, Ally. The conflict you are feeling and the questions you are asking tell me very clearly that you are on the verge of moving to the next step of your life, a more joyful and satisfying one. Keep telling the truth and listening to your heart, and you will find many guides and help along the way. If you want to explode, explode into joy. I believe in you.

 Bored and Seeking Joy

I'm a girl bored of everyday life routine and sometimes I even think of suicide. I'm really confused and id like someone to advice me how to live my life more hopefully... or at least give me something that could change my life for the lest joy I can get.
 

Thank goodness you are bored! Boredom is a sign that your inner guidance is working perfectly. What you are doing does not match your passion and joy, and (just like your finger hurts when you set it on a hot stove) your inner being is shouting at you, "This can't be it! Don't keep hanging out in a place that is unfulfilling!" The next - and most important question - is: If this is not it, what is it? Then focus you attention on what would bring you joy, and head in that direction. While you think you want to escape from life, you really want to escape from what is not life. So your thoughts about leaving are really about leaving death and returning to life. That will not happen by denying your life, but by diving into it. One more suggestion: If you can get involved with a life-affirming, spiritually-founded counselor or support group, you will find other people who mirror your beauty, wisdom, and strength, and remind you of your worth and the wonder of your life.

 Hearing Loss, Spiritual Opportunity?

Thank you for your wonderful website and extending your soul to those of us searching for our truths. I have been struggling with a progressive hearing loss and the tremendous negative psycho-socio-spiritual-economic impact it has had on my life for the last five years or so. I know there is a better way - and struggle isn't necessary - but I haven't been able to adopt that truth for myself yet. Do you have any suggestions on how to change and let go of old limiting beliefs and let the Universe show me my passion - life's purpose and how to use my current life to move forward? 
 

Sometimes when one faculty abates, others step forward. A first step would be to recognize that true hearing is not via the ear. True hearing is of the spirit, and that is a faculty you always have by virtue of your spiritual identity. So here is a great opportunity to develop your inner hearing - listening for the voice of truth within you. I assure you that voice is always speaking and you always have the power to hear it. Many people live their passion regardless of physical conditions. In fact, some people have been motivated by physical challenges to live their passion even more intensely. What would you be doing if your hearing were perfect? What do you love to do, regardless of what is happening with your hearing? The universe is banging at your door to show you your passion and purpose. The question to ask to open the door is very simple: “What makes me happy and brings me life?” The answer to that question is your key. Furthermore, I would not just write your hearing impairment off as a necessary reality. Louise Hay might ask you, “What is it that you don’t want to hear?” I would further ask you, “What would you love to hear?” Follow the thread of your joy and you will be amazed at how it echoes in your soul and ears.

In Limbo, Ready to Move

Two years ago I read your book Why my life sucks and what I can do to change it. It hit home and I made many changes from a unfulfilled life. I am currently and have been for 3 years in the Centerpointe program and worked with the Centerpointe.com team and have changed greatly. I am now working with Summer Jones an Avatar Master working again on my beliefs. I still do not know what I want to do. My current job is in limbo which is giving me time to reflect. I always wanted to open a center in the mountains here in Colorado and have a private retreat for teachers like you and Deepak and Avatar to teach courses as well as teach our selves. I know my beliefs are creating my reality yet I'm bored and don't know what to do to create what I want. I have been in lack all my life and I'm not in lack as much as I was yet it all takes a lot of money. I have 3 things that would make me happy and the most important is I'm sick of the 8-5 routine. Any ideas you have would help and hopefully the Avatar course will help get me moving. I have come to believe that only I can create what I want and no one else can tell me. I have studied most all spiritual paths and still at 48 I am not really happy where I am I feel like I am not in control of my life yet I am the one who has created it.

You are very self-aware and have some very powerful tools at your command. Now you are being called to put them into action. Enough study; time for action. You are ready. One little pothole you have stepped into in your reasoning is that you need money to do the things that make you happy. Things do not make you happy; only your thoughts to. You can choose happiness right where you stand, and make happiness your theme as you go. You can be blissfully happy for the rest of your life, and unto eternity, even if you never do one of your projects. Of course you can do your projects for fun and reward, but if you are not happy while you are doing them you will not be happy when you complete them. The icing on the cake is that the happier you get, the more powerful you will be to attract the resources for your visions. Just be sure to keep the horse before the cart. You are totally in control of your life because you can choose your thoughts. This process takes practice, but it always works. You have a great chance to practice right before you now. If you are bored and sick of your 8-5 routine, then you can’t afford to continue. Either change your mind or change your circumstances. Whatever you do, don’t put up with a routine or pattern of thought or activity that is deadening. There’s too much life in and around you to wait. It’s time.

Born to be Great,  Scared to be Happy

I am a 21yr old girl from India. I have been going through your site for a few days and have found it very useful. As a child I have always been selfish, lazy, greedy and annoying and always wanted people to give things to me without doing any giving. I have always been a negative thinker and have a kind of attachment to sadness. Sadness makes me feel that I have something, and it feels strange and scary if I have nothing to worry about. I am a very insecure person and have been through depression twice which made me discontinue my studies and lose 3 academic years. I joined another college after that. Recently (about 5months ago) I started getting panic attacks which forced me to open my eyes and change my ways as they are severely interfering with my daily life and studies. Even though my outlook has changed from total negative to a mix of negative and positive, the panic attacks have made me desperate to become a totally positive person. I have started using affirmations and reading your site and anything that can change me. But now, as I get nearer and nearer, I feel scared to be happy and feel like going back to my previous condition. It feels safe as I have known it all my life. I also know that I am an extremely kind, helpful and talented person inside and I know what I'm good at but haven't found out yet what I have to do with the rest of my life. My thoughts and fears are stopping me from being the person I really could be. I have this feeling inside that I was born to be a really great person but don't know how.
 

Your account is one of the most touching and inspiring I have received. Thank you for your honesty and your sincere request for help. You are doing better than you know. It is wonderful and extremely significant that you describe yourself as going from being a negative thinker, to someone who is a mix of negative and positive. That says a lot for your growth, and shows you are on an upward curve. That will not stop. You will continue to blossom in the light. your observation about the way you used to cling to sadness as if it offered you some security, is very astute. Many people believe that unless they are feeling something unhappy, they are not feeling. Yet there is a whole range of emotions you can feel that make you feel alive and give you an identity. Joy, appreciation, and celebration are much closer to your true identity than pain. As you shift your identity from sadness to joy, you will feel even more alive. Regarding your panic attacks, I think it is a positive sign that you have moved from depression to panic. While this may sound strange, the key is in your statement that your attacks have made you desperate to become totally positive. I have a few favorite quotes that match your experience: “Confusion is the last stop on the train to clarity." Whenever I step forward to meet a big new ‘Yes,’ all of my old ‘No’s’ come back to greet me.” These mean that when you are getting close to a breakthrough, old negative patterns often show up in an exaggerated form. Yet they have come up not to overwhelm you, but for clearing and release. Sometimes things get worse before they get better, and then they never get as bad as they were again. So your panic attacks have served you to reach for the light – and you are. This is a time to breathe deeply, trust your process, and pay attention to where you want to go. You are indeed a kind, helpful, and talented person, and you do have greatness inside you. Focus on that as much as you can, and act as if that is the truth. It is. It also helps to stay connected to your higher power. Read, pray, journal, walk in nature, listen to music, or do whatever you can that makes you feel peaceful and aware that you live in a loving universe. Over time you will notice that you feel better and better, and you will realize that sad girl was a steppingstone to a magnificent woman. Affirm: I am safe, whole, beautiful, and loved.

Enough Self-Help, Ready for Passion

Over the last 20 some years I have taken about every self help course there is, read 100s of books, memorized thousands of quotes, self talk and taught Dale Carnegie Courses for 15 years and here I am FULL OF IT and lost.  More seems to be less.  How to get more passion and sense of direction?
 

Well, I guess that after all the books and trainings, there is only one thing left to do: Live it. You have all the tools; now you have to put them into action. You’ve had the lecture; now you’re into the laboratory. Hallelujah. Yes, after a while more is less. More head is less heart. Now it’s time to listen to only one teacher – your spirit. Each day ask your spirit as often as possible, “What would bring me joy right now?” Then don’t overthink about it. Trust your inner guidance. It knows. You are connected to Divine Mind. Follow joy. I came to the same point you did about 10 years ago, and wrote a book that precisely addresses your question. It’s called “I Had It All the Time.” Someone called it “the Bible for Self-Help Survivors.” Don’t worry that this is just another book to read. At the end of the book I tell you to burn it.

Missed Opportunity?

I have a question that I really hope you can help me with. Early on, I set a goal for myself and at the time I thought that it was perfectly attainable. However, last year, I made several bad choices and my goal kind of dissipated before my eyes. I was very distraught about it for quite some time, and it felt like a perpetual nightmare that kept cycling around and around again. I never thought that I would feel normal again, much less forgive myself for what I let go of; because of this mistake, I missed many great opportunities. This fall, I started coming out of the sadness and I was beginning to be kind to myself. I could see a possible light at the end of the very dark tunnel. However, today, I was reminded by a person very close to me of the great opportunity I had missed because of the mistake. She is able to capitalize on the opportunity because she did not make the same mistake I did. Now, all the feeling of stupidity and rejection are rushing back to me. I just want to forgive myself for what happened, but I just can't seem to. every time I think I am pulling myself out, I get pushed back in. I just keep reliving what happened and I can't seem to pull myself out of this dark place. What do you think? I would very much appreciate an answer.
 

Your entire problem is based on one false assumption: that you missed an opportunity that will not come again. When you are ripe and ready, success that can come through any one of thousands of doors. There is not one right person, job, or situation that comes your way, and if you miss it, you've blown it forever. That idea comes from a very limited view of life which is simply untrue. Successful people recognize that every day many opportunities comes their way, and if they happen to miss one, the next will come along soon. If, however, you fixate on the opportunity you missed, and you compound that fixation with feelings of guilt, you limit your ability to see the next opportunity when it shows up. So letting go of the guilt and self-judgment is your first step to moving ahead and having what you want. Your friend is not helping you by rubbing in the guilt. If she has turned the opportunity into success, she would support you better (and you would support yourself better) by realizing that you can have what she has; there is no limit to the good that is available; there is room at the top for everyone. Focus on where you want to go, not where you are coming from. Reframe your experience as a gift that is motivating you to get what you want, and then go get it.

What if We All Did What We Wanted?

I have read many time that we should do that which gives us passion, energizes us, uplifts us. Would the economic system or order work if we all did that. In other words, could it happen that we would all like quality food, the home that we deserve and clothes and cars that are fun and express who we are-and then at the same time, none of us find it inspiring to grow food, do construction and similar work, or manufacture clothes? How would it all fit together? How does it all fit together? Similarly, it seems a lot of us love sports and yet only a few can make a living at it. I hope this question makes sense. I guess a way to summarize would be, what if there is a disparity between our wants and our enjoying of the processes that bring the objects of our wants into being.

The answer is yes – if everyone followed their heart’s inclination, the world would work quite well — a lot better, in fact, than it appears to work now. Someone once asked me, “If everyone just followed their bliss, what kind of world would this be?” I answered, “A very blissful world.” The universe is set up to work for everyone, taking into account our unique inclinations. While you cannot imagine sewing for a living, there are lots of people who would just love to do that. They could not imagine doing what you do for a living. You don’t need to be able to figure it all out; the human mind cannot conceive of such a big picture. But the universe is guided by a vast synchronistic intelligence. Everyone who loves sports can participate in one aspect or another. If you are not an on-field star there are many spin-offs that are rewarding. The good news is that you don’t have to orchestrate what everyone is supposed to be doing; Spirit already has that handled. Each of us is in the midst of our own adventure to discover our unique role. All you need to figure out is your niche in the vast scheme, and the best way to recognize that is to listen to your heart and act on what brings you joy. When you are happy, you are in the best possible position to hear guidance and bring happiness to others.