I was coaching a young woman who had been dating a guy for a short time. “He told me not to phone or text him anymore. What do you think I should do?”
“Why would you want to pursue a guy who doesn’t want to be with you?” I asked her. “Rejection is protection and redirection. There is someone else who will understand, appreciate, and want you. Why waste your time trying to bang down a closed door when there is one that will open for you to walk through easily and naturally?”
Many of us have been trained that the road to success is paved with struggle. You have to fight for your good. If anything comes easily and naturally, it’s too good to be true. So we keep swimming upstream, hoping that things will change because we are sacrificing our joy. But if something you are doing is not working, doing more of it will not work better. You need to try a different approach.
I encountered a similar situation with my client Ted, a successful seminar leader. “I have taught two programs for a long time. For the current sessions, I have just a few signups. I am thinking about hiring a promoter to help me attract more students.”
I asked Ted, “How passionate do you feel about these programs?”
“Not so much,” he replied. “I have been repeating them for years and, frankly, I am tired of them.”
“Is there any other program you feel more excited about teaching?”
“Yes, I just took a new training, and I would like to take those principles and create my own program around them.” Ted’s face lit up as he spoke of his new venture.
“I don’t think it will serve you to hire someone to promote a program you would rather not do,” I told him. “The dynamic behind your work makes more of a difference than the logistical manipulation. If you offer your new and more stimulating program, you will likely attract more people, it will be more fun for you, and you won’t need to hire someone to do additional promotion. Passion is the strongest success magnet.”
Take a moment now to consider the energy that is driving the important aspects of your life. Are your intimate relationships, friendships, job, living situation, and spiritual activities motivated by joy, aliveness, creativity, and expansion? Or are you beating your head against a wall, trying to manipulate more and more pieces to make something good happen?
If so, you might want to focus less on mechanics, and more on your consciousness. If you let go of the elements devoid of passion and replaced them with exciting elements, how good would that feel? What new ideas would come to you to inspire you to succeed? How might you attract people, events, and situations to further your heartfelt path?
Certainly there are things we have to do that we would rather not have to do. Yet we have far more choice than we realize. For every joy-based intention you have, there are people who want to connect with you on a stimulating playing field. There are relationship partners, jobs, and living situations who value you as much as you value them. I saw an ad for a sleek sports car: “It wants you, too.”
You may not have to leave your current situation; in many cases, infusing more joy into your life right where you stand will elevate your vibration and transform your situation. It may not be the person, job, or home you need to ditch; it might be your old, limiting way of thinking about them.
Focus less on making things happen, and more on letting things happen. When you are clear on “what,” the universe will arrange the “how.” You don’t need to pursue people or situations that don’t want you. What isn’t working is a gift from the universe propelling you in a new direction. Far more good awaits you than you have been settling for.
