Since Darla went through a painful divorce a few years ago, she has put on considerable weight, and has not been able to not take it off. Darla has tried diets, exercise, and affirmations, but the scale has continued to show the same numbers. In coaching, she admitted, “I just don’t know what to do next.”
I asked Darla a poignant question: “Is there any way you believe that the extra weight might be serving you?”
She thought for a moment and answered, “After my divorce, I don’t really want to be involved with a man. Maybe on some level I believe that the weight is making me less attractive and I won’t have to deal with a relationship.”
I thanked Darla for her honesty, and asked her, “Would you be willing to say no to men without needing your weight to say no for you?”
That question was an eye-opener for her. We began to discuss how she could empower herself and all of her relationships by finding the confidence to communicate directly. While the weight issue seemed to be a physical problem, it was more fundamentally an invitation for Darla to take charge of her life and claim the power of her true choices.
Many of us use our bodies or various physical situations to speak truth that we have not been speaking with our words. A veterinarian told me, “Years ago I hurt myself lifting a heavy suitcase, and I lost use of my arm for a while. But that was probably good timing, because I wanted to quit doing surgery, which I have not done since that incident.”
There are easier ways to say no or make desired changes without needing an illness or accident to make a course correction for us. While we believe that the universe is sending us a message when a dramatic incident occurs, we are really making a statement to ourselves and the universe. If we can make the statement directly, we can avoid a painful wake-up call.
Sometimes we stay in unhappy or unhealthy situations because change seems scarier than staying. I was coaching a man who had been fired from five accounting positions. He wanted me to help him find another accounting job. “Do you really want to be an accountant?” was the obvious question to ask.
“Not at all,” he told me.
“What would you like to do instead?
“I would love to do photography.” Now we were onto something! As we began to explore how he could make a career out of his photography hobby, he lit up, in sharp contrast to his dull and beleaguered countenance he displayed when he considered continuing to trudge through a career he hated.
A Course in Miracles asks us to remember, “God’s will for me is perfect happiness.” God does not want us to stay in painful, unhappy, or debilitating situations. Life wants us to prosper, shine, and live to our highest potential. We can use dramatic or chronic situations to create a course correction, and we can also choose to make them in gentler, easier lighter ways.
Life always wants the best for us. When we find the courage and confidence to claim the best for ourselves, the universe will get behind us in wonderful, miraculous ways.
